Well, I'm now bruised and battered after a day's sailing on Friday, with recruitment company Major Players, in Southampton. Great day, but was thrown all over the boat. Needless to say I got no action shots, so these will have to do.
Monday 29 September 2008
Wednesday 24 September 2008
romantic interest
It's been some time since I mentioned the romantic interest, so after lots of consultation with friends, I've decided to come clean on what happened. The Boy - J as he shall be known - is a bit confused. All was going well, we'd been spending lots of time together, going out, reading Sunday papers in the pub. All was well. Which is why I should have seen the truck looming over the horizon.
The problems started two weeks before my birthday in August. J had decided to take a week off 'to chill out'. Maybe I should've been more understanding but I guess I was a bit hurt that he'd decided he needed 'some time away from everything' and that included me. But still I tried not to panic. In retrospect, I maybe shouldn't have contacted him and let him chill, but I thought as we were a couple, talking would be okay. The weekend before his week off, which ran into my birthday weekend, we spent a glorious couple of days, and - to my surprise - he made a commitment declaration by giving me a set of keys to his flat. I was surprised, but touched. His week off came around and my assumption that talking was okay, was so wrong. He made it clear that he was planning to be a hermit for the week, and that included not seeing me. His reassurance that he was 'planning something' for my birthday made me think all was okay. Again, how wrong.
My birthday came around, I got a call from J to ask if I was in the office. I said yes, for the morning, then in the afternoon I was out with my team. It turned out he'd sent flowers to me, but to the registered address for the office, which is not where I was. So that was the start.
We - myself and my team - went to the Elbow Rooms to play pool and J called around five asking when I'd be done. I'd still heard nothing about his 'plans' so I'd arranged to go for a drink with a mate back in South London where I live. I told J this and he said, well can I come? Of course, he could, was my response. It had become clear there was no 'plan'. He turned up with a couple of books - a private joke - and a card. I've tried to find an image online, to no avail. I can't scan the card as I've binned it, but let's just say it's probably the most cruel and nasty card I've ever had from someone close to me. But I digress.
My team had got me some lovely presents and a delicious cake - a flan. J suggested we leave the Elbow Rooms and go back to mine, so we jumped in a cab. And that's when it started. I made the mistake of asking why he'd gone into hiding. He said he didn't want to talk about it, and I -stupidly - pushed the issue. We got to Victoria and it was apparent that the whole thing was over. The situation then descended into a Mike Leigh style comedy. We're standing in Victoria Station, he's telling me he can't cope with our relationship and that he needs space to get his head together. I, by now, am crying. I ask him if he's coming home with me and he says, quite honestly, no. So I say fine and turn around to walk off to my train. He's carrying the flan, so he calls after me about the cake and I tell him he can keep it. God knows what the other commuters thought.
I get on my train, sobbing, and go home. I cry on the sofa then ring my best friend who immediately takes me out and gets me drunk. So all was not lost.
Fast forward to Sat morning. Eight thirty am. I'm dying. I've got mascara all over my face and I feel like death. The buzzer goes. The flowers.
I open the door, unaware that I'm still in the Mike Leigh comedy. A middle aged man launches into a tirade. "You need to get proper labelling on your flats," he grumbles. "I've been all round the bloody grounds, and it took me ten minutes to park. I've got loads more deliveries to make and this is a bad start to the day."
I stand. Looking blankly at him. I open my mouth and I can't help myself. "You're having a bad day?", I say. "You? It was my birthday yesterday so the flowers are late. I was supposed to be going away with my lovely boyfriend, but instead he's dumped me and now I've got these shitty flowers to remind me."
He stood. Open mouthed. And then he said, "not much I can say to that love, Happy birthday!". He hands me the flowers and departs. I get showered and arrange to meet some friends for lunch. I call my mother on the way, and she's surprised to hear from me saying, "I thought J was taking you away". No, I say. What happened? she says. He dumped me yesterday. Oh god, she says. Are you all right? I can't talk about it, I say, choking back tears. Of course, she says. Anyway, how was your birthday? Clearly my mother also had a role in the comedy.
All was fine - or as fine as it could be. I fielded the questions about where J was from my friends, I exchanged an email with J where he explained he was in a difficult place and he needed space and time blah blah. Touchingly, after that space and time, he fully expects to be with me. So I'll just wait here, shall I?
It's amazing how when you think you're just almost getting over it when the digital space delivers a killer blow. I get a text from J. "I'm going to hurt you just a little bit more," he texts. "I'm going to delete our relationship from Facebook. I care about you but I just can't do this."
So a kick in the teeth virtually. I think I would have been happier if I'd been allowed that dignity of being the one to declare myself single.
It's now a month on, and frankly the world is easier. I've been quizzed by friends - who frankly would like to see him strung up by his balls for hurting me so badly - who want to know why I don't hate J.
What did he do? Yes, he said things that he clearly didn't mean but we all get carried away with the moment sometimes. He didn't love me and he didn't want to be with me. So he told me. What's bad about that? Yes, if I found out he'd cheated on me, my attitude would change, but he was just honest. And I'd rather that than a fake weekend away for my birthday. But yes, his timing was shit.
The problems started two weeks before my birthday in August. J had decided to take a week off 'to chill out'. Maybe I should've been more understanding but I guess I was a bit hurt that he'd decided he needed 'some time away from everything' and that included me. But still I tried not to panic. In retrospect, I maybe shouldn't have contacted him and let him chill, but I thought as we were a couple, talking would be okay. The weekend before his week off, which ran into my birthday weekend, we spent a glorious couple of days, and - to my surprise - he made a commitment declaration by giving me a set of keys to his flat. I was surprised, but touched. His week off came around and my assumption that talking was okay, was so wrong. He made it clear that he was planning to be a hermit for the week, and that included not seeing me. His reassurance that he was 'planning something' for my birthday made me think all was okay. Again, how wrong.
My birthday came around, I got a call from J to ask if I was in the office. I said yes, for the morning, then in the afternoon I was out with my team. It turned out he'd sent flowers to me, but to the registered address for the office, which is not where I was. So that was the start.
We - myself and my team - went to the Elbow Rooms to play pool and J called around five asking when I'd be done. I'd still heard nothing about his 'plans' so I'd arranged to go for a drink with a mate back in South London where I live. I told J this and he said, well can I come? Of course, he could, was my response. It had become clear there was no 'plan'. He turned up with a couple of books - a private joke - and a card. I've tried to find an image online, to no avail. I can't scan the card as I've binned it, but let's just say it's probably the most cruel and nasty card I've ever had from someone close to me. But I digress.
My team had got me some lovely presents and a delicious cake - a flan. J suggested we leave the Elbow Rooms and go back to mine, so we jumped in a cab. And that's when it started. I made the mistake of asking why he'd gone into hiding. He said he didn't want to talk about it, and I -stupidly - pushed the issue. We got to Victoria and it was apparent that the whole thing was over. The situation then descended into a Mike Leigh style comedy. We're standing in Victoria Station, he's telling me he can't cope with our relationship and that he needs space to get his head together. I, by now, am crying. I ask him if he's coming home with me and he says, quite honestly, no. So I say fine and turn around to walk off to my train. He's carrying the flan, so he calls after me about the cake and I tell him he can keep it. God knows what the other commuters thought.
I get on my train, sobbing, and go home. I cry on the sofa then ring my best friend who immediately takes me out and gets me drunk. So all was not lost.
Fast forward to Sat morning. Eight thirty am. I'm dying. I've got mascara all over my face and I feel like death. The buzzer goes. The flowers.
I open the door, unaware that I'm still in the Mike Leigh comedy. A middle aged man launches into a tirade. "You need to get proper labelling on your flats," he grumbles. "I've been all round the bloody grounds, and it took me ten minutes to park. I've got loads more deliveries to make and this is a bad start to the day."
I stand. Looking blankly at him. I open my mouth and I can't help myself. "You're having a bad day?", I say. "You? It was my birthday yesterday so the flowers are late. I was supposed to be going away with my lovely boyfriend, but instead he's dumped me and now I've got these shitty flowers to remind me."
He stood. Open mouthed. And then he said, "not much I can say to that love, Happy birthday!". He hands me the flowers and departs. I get showered and arrange to meet some friends for lunch. I call my mother on the way, and she's surprised to hear from me saying, "I thought J was taking you away". No, I say. What happened? she says. He dumped me yesterday. Oh god, she says. Are you all right? I can't talk about it, I say, choking back tears. Of course, she says. Anyway, how was your birthday? Clearly my mother also had a role in the comedy.
All was fine - or as fine as it could be. I fielded the questions about where J was from my friends, I exchanged an email with J where he explained he was in a difficult place and he needed space and time blah blah. Touchingly, after that space and time, he fully expects to be with me. So I'll just wait here, shall I?
It's amazing how when you think you're just almost getting over it when the digital space delivers a killer blow. I get a text from J. "I'm going to hurt you just a little bit more," he texts. "I'm going to delete our relationship from Facebook. I care about you but I just can't do this."
So a kick in the teeth virtually. I think I would have been happier if I'd been allowed that dignity of being the one to declare myself single.
It's now a month on, and frankly the world is easier. I've been quizzed by friends - who frankly would like to see him strung up by his balls for hurting me so badly - who want to know why I don't hate J.
What did he do? Yes, he said things that he clearly didn't mean but we all get carried away with the moment sometimes. He didn't love me and he didn't want to be with me. So he told me. What's bad about that? Yes, if I found out he'd cheated on me, my attitude would change, but he was just honest. And I'd rather that than a fake weekend away for my birthday. But yes, his timing was shit.
Tuesday 23 September 2008
Free computers
Originally I was in favour of the news that Brown was to give kids access to computers at home [not at £700, but that's another blog]. While the Daily Mail readers can rant that the wee chavs should be in the library, what is bypassing the commentators that when these wee chavs grow up, they'll more than likely to be working in a company where they will not only be expected to know about computers, they'll be expected to be competent in their use. That's not fantasy, it's fact.
But I'm particularly annoyed that the deal doesn't extend to Scotland. Yet again, this Government has shafted Scotland. There are children in Scotland who will work in computing [BigMouthMedia, one of the most respected SEO companies is based in Edinburgh and run by Scots!] so have they to buy their own? I hope to God that the lunatic will be let off the top chair soon.
But I'm particularly annoyed that the deal doesn't extend to Scotland. Yet again, this Government has shafted Scotland. There are children in Scotland who will work in computing [BigMouthMedia, one of the most respected SEO companies is based in Edinburgh and run by Scots!] so have they to buy their own? I hope to God that the lunatic will be let off the top chair soon.
Thursday 18 September 2008
New Facebook
I can't understand why everyone is against the new Facebook style. It seems very usable and much cleaner.
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